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| „There's nobody can fix this but yourself. You are the only one who can make the changes.“ |
Bernard MacLaverty *14 September 1942
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| „There's nobody can fix this but yourself. You are the only one who can make the changes.“ |
Bernard MacLaverty *14 September 1942
Mostly true - which is not to say that offers of help should be refused out of hand.
ReplyDeleteA fine addendum, Sue.
DeleteI have never read a word from this fellow but that quote is almost exactly what I finally shouted at myself one day, some years ago, while lying bed-bound in despair in the midst of a dreadful and life-threatening long episode of clinical depression that was not responding to drugs or any other attempts at help. And I have been fine for a long time now (hoping not to be speaking too soon). Seems worth breaking my self-imposed commenting silence for this, even if temporarily.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you broke silence, Andrew. You are always welcome.
DeleteBut that you know, anyway. ;-)
Love the quote, that really clinches it, however ( thinking of Andrew's experience) I think the worst thing you can say to someone who is suffering from depression is "snap out of it"
ReplyDeleteI agree Mark, but equally thinking that someone or something out there will come to rescue you can be equally destructive, at least in my experience. I expect every situation is different. As for me, I certainly did not "snap out of it", but I did very slowly, over many months, manage to drag myself out of the darkness after accepting that nobody or nothing else would be able to do so. The drugs probably helped too though, eventually. True clinical depression is impossible to describe or properly convey to people who have not experienced it, I think, but at least persuading oneself that one might gain some control over it can help, I think. I also think too much, I think. Drug-free for quite a while now, I am pleased to say.
DeleteGood health to You!
DeleteMacLaverty is right. Sue is right. You are right, Mark. And so is Andrew.
DeletePondering about my reply, at one point I remembered
one aspect Sue mentioned re suicide prevention: A simple question we should be asking family, friends and colleagues every day: "Are you okay?"
It corresponds with what I use to offer, probably because I do not like intrusively being asked questions, myself: Whenever you need an ear to listen and wish the very ear to be mine you will be welcome.
In other words: It's about kindness, empathy and good will. And finally ... about what MacLaverty states.