Goldfingers aka Scumbags

Readers who regularly do read what my "Seldom Boring" friends (on the sidebar) are posting will know that not only when it comes to "Turkish affairs" Erkan's Field Diary is an excellent source.

Some months ago this very headline caught my interest:

Meet Sarraf,

the Great (Turkish) Gatsby

Reading the article added to  certain thoughts that Recep Tayyip Erdoğan Effendi would not only call a prejudice.
After all, Turkishness is unrivalled, eh?

Flying Dead Flies

There have so far about 1.000 human disease genes been found.
77 % of those have been found in drosophila melanogaster, too.
Following the 'logic' of 'intelligently designed primates'
humans are 77% fly.
... And now let us not start speaking about bicycles.

 

Lord of the Flies

Coincidence? One would find impertinent idiots [in the classic sense, mind you] not only in Germany, but everywhere else, f.e. in England.

Beginning with the Netherlands, though.

You might have heard of that peroxide blonde gentleman who, as my friend Tetrapilotomos recently murmured, is looking like a sunlamp-tanned songster-queen and would obviously do all to attract attention and endear himself to certain folks of another wilde faculty.
Thus he let produce a lousy little film called 'Fitna', and called it a 'documentation'.

Now would some folks not like this lousy film (no matter if they've been wasting their precious time with watching it, or not); moreover, it became a political issue, and unlike the cleric cretin who recently talked as if he was an admirer of the 'great scientist' Fred Leuchter who once stated he had gone to Ausschwitz to prove the holocaust but after about 40 years just could not find any gas and 'Eureka! no gas, no holocaust'. (Mr. Leuchter, by the way, enjoyed close business connection with several US-states who use lethal injection machine designed by him. Official sides prefered to deny this, but Tetrapilotomos still has an interesting video in his cupboard, and would certainly be delighted to jog the memory of anybody who kindly asked. You could, of course, also just have a look at the small medal on the machine whilst you are executing the next death penalty. It reads: Fred Leuchter, Boston, Massachusetts), and still earned a 'welcome back within the pales of the Catholic Church', (which is why the Central Council of the Jews in Germany ... guess! ... right: ... publicly announced they will not speak with the Pope for a while) our blonde philanthropistic would-be saviour of the western word earned severe critics. Political correct politicians behaved as if they were disgusted, and as valiant defenders of democracy and free speech demanded to censor the lousy film.

End of the beforegoing.

Now, while the plebs, i.e. the ordinary stupid voting-cattle (German: Stimmvieh) ought not to be allowed to decide themselves to watch this lousy film or not, those who consider themselves a bit more equal than others, 'of course' are not only allowed to watch the lousy film, it's even their duty, one should think, hm?

I mean, unlike those privileged people who'd not need to watch a lousy film or a mediocre book, 'spontaneously' and with burning enthusiasm to support the flags-producing industry, politicians should at least watch respectively read it.
After all, they might come to the wise conclusion that censoring a lousy film or a mediocre book does not solve any problem.

And herewith we jump across the Channel, reach London and enter the House of Lords.

Now don't you need to know each Lord and Baroness, but you should know Lord Ahmed. So let me introduce His Extraordinary Magnificence to those amongst you who up til now had the great pleasure to never ever come across his name.

With thanks to 'His Grace'
where I pinched this pic.

For the beginning it's enough that you know the Lord loves to send text messages while driving.

Alright? Fine then. Here we go:

Lord Ahmed, the Muslim Peer, has admitted dangerous driving after sending text messages while driving on a motorway just before a crash in which a father-of-two died. Full article here.

Well, and what would do who wantonly negligent killed another person?
He'd at least feel miserable and hide himself in a mouse-hole, if only he could, you say?

Right.

And what did 'our good Lord' do, when a lordly collegue invited the producer of said lousy film in order to together with him and her esteemed colleagues watch and afterwards discuss it?

According to what I learned at Cranmer's, the Lord by grace of a certain Tony Blair reportedly 'threatened to mobilise 10,000 Muslims to prevent Mr Wilders [that's the blondie that let produce said lousy film; sj] from entering the house and threatened to take the colleague who was organising the event to court'.

And what did the honourable Lordships do?

Giving Mr Ahmed a democracy-lesson, you guess?

Nah! Showing him the white feather.

And the Lord announced via BBC, Daily Telegraph, Guardian, Times etc ... err ... via Associated Press of Pakistan "a victory for the Muslim community".

And here the words almost fail me.
Imagine, next time the Lord of the Flies cometh and demands: 'Eat shit, Mylords! 100 trillion flies can't err.'

Apropos 'Lord of the (F)lies': Is it possible that Lord Ahmed on this very day sent one text message to Fethullah Gülen and four to the most intellectual mastermind's - Ha ha ha ha ... - intelligently designed mouthpieces?

Oops. Never ever heard such names in Merry Old England?
Now, that's surprising, hm?

Perhaps, after having read this and followed the links some English(wo)man feels fancy of investigating a bit on Lord Ahmed's connection with this self-styled elite and their common purpose?

Well, good luck, enjoy and let me know the results of your research.

* Title of a book written by William Golding. What did you think? :)

Darwin makes my blood boil

... err ... no ... please! In case you happen to be one of those primates being 'taught'/indoctrinated to believe (whatever this means) they are intelligently designed and promoting the idea there's a potter who's first name is not Harry who about 10.000 years ago took a clot of loam, designed a being, shortly afterwards took a rib of this being and formed a female so that it (ha ha ha) would always have something to beat up - don't applause half-cocked.

Darwin made my blood boil by sharing this.

Bitter for Mr. Vitter

As everybody knows 219 years ago a few French stormed the Bastille because they were sick to death of their king and wanted to get what they deserved. 15 years later they got an emperor.
For sure a grand reason for a national holiday.

I could go on and on praising the French and their (sic) revolution*, but ... sorry ... right now I wonder what has happened to the famous David Vitter, who almost exactly one year ago claimed 'he had asked for and received forgiveness from God and his wife - undoubtedly the greatest story for the past 2020 or even 10.000 years, which the BBC gave away though, by mentioning it in a subordinate clause.

Well, googling 'Vitters, prostitute ring, trial', and voilà ha ha ha ... so ho ho ho rry ... hardly ca ha ha han't write.

Help yourself.

Back? And? Isn't this a most touching photo? And wouldn't you say: Yes, this is undoubtedly an intelligently designed couple?

What I cannot entirely understand: As Mr. Vitters has already received forgiveness by Mr. and Mrs. God - and who would doubt his words? -, why would there be an earthly trial? Isn't God any longer boss in his own country?



*French Revolution: another term for replacing a king by an emperor

Gülen top of the brainless

Ha ha ha - continue til paragraph 114.

Deleted 113. Thus paragraph Paragraph 115 de facto is paragraph 2, or vice versa.

Just checked the headlines posted by Erkan 30 minutes ago. Lots to read, indeed!
Gülen tops intellectuals list. Can't stop laughing.

You see, an intellectual per definitionem is an intelligent person without brains.

Another self-styled elite

Nothing is as old as yesterday's news, unless you would not find it in "your" media.

Alright, a conference titled "Muslim World in Transition: Contributions of the Gülen Movement" being hold, let's say in Erzurum would probably not attract many media to send a reporter team to Anatolia.

But when above mentioned conference takes place in London and is being inaugurated at The House of Lords one might think this would attract some interest in times when the Labour Party's "favourite think-tank" favours the idea of downgrading Christmas in favour of festivals from other religions to improve race relations.

No?

Well, it's good for Fethullah Gülen to have a Journalists and Writers Foundation spreading his words and running his own newspaper.

In Today's Zaman - by the way, a nice little gem: Reading Zaman (Times) backwards you get Namaz (Prayer) -, October 27th one could find following headline: "Gülen Movement forms supranational new elite".

Two days later, Fethullah Gülen's most eloquent mouthpiece, Mustafa Akyol, in the Turkish Daily News let follow this column.

The final sentences: "Alas, if the Islamic world will be able to breed a “dynamic” interpretation of its faith, then Turkey, it seems, will be one of its main architects. So, keep watching."

So be it!

For a beginning, apropos watching: what one would neither find in the articles above nor in this opulent file, you will find in this enlightening article by ... ? ... by ... ? right: by Mustafa Akyol.


Postscriptum:
Lots of links, dear readers?

Ah, it's just but a shortlist. :)

There are many more. Too many for one post.

More about this issue as soon as my closest friend is back. Today he sent a message.
"Am in Erzurum. The
worshippers of dead
sardines' heads are
forming a
supranational elite.
Until soon,
kind regards,
Tetrapilotomos."

To be fair against Mr Akyol

It's not easy to lose twice in row.

Therefore here, to be fair against Mr. Akyol, quasi with open visor an announcement.

But let's first read the final passage of his reply to Mr Bekdil:

This “theory of taqiyya,” which Mr. Bekdil repeatedly refers to, is an “unfalsifiable” idea, to use a term coined by political philosopher Karl Popper. What this means is that the person accused with “taqiyya” can never falsify that. The more he rejects the accusation that he is willing to destroy the secular republic, the more the ultra-secularists become convinced about the imagined conspiracy he supposedly cooks up. It is like believing that all top politicians are freemasons; the fact they deny this would only prove how effectively the secret brotherhood works. It is a pity that such an immature paranoia is shared not only by the superficial demagogues of secular fundamentalism, but also otherwise reasonable and sophisticated minds like Mr. Bekdil. I am sure he can do better than that.

Hope this was green enough, and everybody could read.

Now, there is (almost) no doubt that Mr Akyol is a talented writer. I should like to compare him with my friend Tetrapilotomos, a writer who would not write for reasons that I shall probably never understand.
Anyway, if I did so and came to the conclusion that ... that ... that Mr Akyol were more talented than Tetrapilotomos, (I suppose) according to Mr Akyol (who seems to have read Karl Popper) this would be unfalsifiable.

This said, I promise Mr. Akyol that next time he will raise his sword ... hm ... his feather (what a picture in these times!) to take up the cudgels for praising so-called intelligent design, he will be asked to falsify, that is: to prove or declare false.

The Peace of the Night.

Postscriptum: Apropos "mature paranoia", Mr Akyol. Do you think Mr Bekdil is psychotic? Language, Sir, language!

And be careful with your answer.
As Tetrapilotomos uses to say: I do always mean what I say, but I wouldn't say all I mean.

Nothing else to do

In case you would still doubt the correctness of Schopenhauer's conclusion wherupon genitals are the sounding-board of brain, you will find another evidence here.

Some infidel facts about water

As a welcome-present for my closest friend, Tetrapilotomos, who just returned from a visit to Rome and the Vatican - where he has put in some thousand good words for a poor poor Member of the Italian Parliament, thus trying to make sure the humble victim of loneliness would soon receive forgiveness from God and his wife -, I shall give in to his request to demonstrate how to cut one post into four.

All right then.
To start with the beginning.

Piece one.

Here are some so-called facts for all those still tending to rely on science-based expertise.
Being published on Bloom’s Day, it is, of course, infidel stuff for all those claiming to know that water-shortage in Turkey has been intelligently designed approximately 10.000 years ago.

In dubio pro Bekdil AND Akyol

As promised in the (hopefully not) last post, here is the jury's result:

The Flann O'Brien Prize Winner is ...

- Sean!?!
- Yes, Tetrapilotomos?
- Who do you think deserves the prize?
- Actually, I could not decide. Both, Mr. Akyol and Mr. Bekdil deserve it.
- I fear, Mr. Akyol would not appreciate to share the prize.
- Why shouldn't he?
- He is missionary, while deep in Mr. Bekdil's heart the serpent "Sarcasm" is darting. Mr. Akyol seriously believes in what he is writing, while Mr. Bekdil does not take himself too serious.
- Hm, Flann O'Brien is not missionary at all. Would you say, Mr. Akyol is not as amusing as Mr. Bekdil?
- I said Mr. Akyol would not be amused to share any prize.
- So, let's wait with the decision, until Mr. Bekdil offers his reply to Mr. Akyol's reply to his, Mr. Bekdil's, reply.
- There won't be a reply to Mr. Akyol's reply to Mr. Bekdil's reply.
- ?
- Mr. Bekdil knows very well that Mr. Akyol would let nobody have the last say, the more when this "Nobody" is an agnostic.
- But there were none of his 2.185 words indecent. And, missionary?! He seemed even glad and proud being able to tell that "the Diyanet, the offical religious body, announced last year that it would cleanse the hadith tradition (the reported sayings and deeds of the prophet) from remarks that humiliate women".
- In other words, Mr. Akyol accepts without protest that the reported sayings and deeds of the prophet would be censored. This is either blasphemy or ...
- Hold on, Tetrapilotomos! The prophet reportedly said this and did that. And you know as well as God and his wife would know that some reporters' skills are ... are ... let's call it suboptimal.
- Well, anyway, I should never write this, but I do hope there would no peaceloving colleague of the late Ayatollah Lankarani come to know of this passage in Mr. Akyol's masterpiece. I mean, it would be blasphemy to think that the prophet did not instruct all good men to beat up their wives whenever they feel like, wouldn't it?
- Hm, what did the friendly looking old man say the other year when there was a two weeks or so campaign for not beating up one's wife in Turkish media: A man who does not beat his wife, is not a man.
- There you are, this humble man surely had studied and internalised the sura important for his character building. And now, suddenly and out of the blue should be wrong what has been right for the past 1387 years?! But we are slightly extravagating. Now, who deserves the prize?
- Be it: Burak Bekdil.
- Why? Because he wrote just one article containing 1.741 words, while Mr. Akyol cast 2.185 pearls for swine?
- No. Because Mr. Bekdil is a true humourist.
- Wrong. Mustafa Akyol is much funnier. And he is an intelligently designed primate.
- He did not explicitly say so. Besides, according to my daughter, who is presently writing her master thesis about Dandyism in the English and French literature of the late 19th century Mr. Akyol might be a fine specimen for Dandyism; by seemingly promoting the idea that there is or has been a potter who's first name is/has not been Harry who about 10.000 years ago took a clot of loam, designed a being, shortly afterwards took a rib of this being and formed him a female so that he would always have something to beat up, Mr. Akyol wins lots of plaudit and praise, while in fact by doing so he is covering his world weariness by making fun of all these poor stupid idiots in the classical sense.
- Mr. Akyol may have some dandyesk attitudes, but I do seriously think he believes what he is writing about intelligent design.
- Couldn't it be that he anticipates the change of wind and that soon there will be enforced intellgently designed biology curricula, and therefore is trimming his sails?
- Is there anything Mr. Yesbut would not anticipate? By the way, nobody, I repeat, nobody could yet thoroughly explain the difference between opportunism and pragmatism.
- Mr. Yesbut?
- Well, you would often if not mostly find Mr. Akyol initially praise any Mr. Siyahyol's opinion with oriental amplification, and after the comma there would follow a but.
-Who is Mr. Siyahyol, Tetrapilotomos?
- Everybody who is not Mr. Akyol.
- ?
- Akyol means White Path. And therefore all those not of Mr. Whitepath's opinion are walking on the black path.
- Doesn't siyah colloquially also mean the same as afyon?
- I don't like dilettantes secretly consulting dictionaries. Neither I know if Mr. Akyol ever got stoned by opium. Actually I think he’d prefer cannabis, but, of course, would probably not inhalate.
- Do you know Mr. Akyol?
- Only by his writing.
- And you think you are fair with what you are talking here?
- Unlike Mr. Akyol I know that I could err.
- Ah, Tetrapilotomos, before we are getting from Pontius to Pilade, let’s make a compromise.
- All right. So, let's award Burak Bekdil the Flann O’Brien Prize, and Mr. Akyol the Huysman & Wilde Prize.

Hurra, we got it!

Breaking news: God is married!

If anyone should have doubted: Here you can read the very probable most amazing and miraculous story being told for the past 2020 if not 10.000 years.
And as it has been told by definitively an intelligently designed primate of the species homo sapiens, it's undoubtedly the truth and nothing but the truth.
Before reading some little hints, though, for better understanding.
The miracle does not meet hundred per cent scientific standards, as the intelligent designed primate seems to not have been able to substantiate his great experience.
And the journalist, although one can be sure he tried hard - after all, audiatur et altera pars is a basic principle for all members of this most wonderful of all professions (not to mix principle for maxim, please) - seems to not have been able to verify the miracle claimed by the most intelligently designed primate.
Anyway, in dubeo pro intelligently designed primates, the more as ...

Ah, see for yourself. Read the lead. Very carefully. Don't miss the most thrilling news: The intelligently designed primate received forgiveness by God and his wife!

Postskriptum:
I think I ought not not keep this back. A minute ago my closest friend muttered:
"This intelligently designed primate's statement does not lack of incredibility. When there is no sin, there is nothing to forgive, would you agree?"
"Yes, but ...
"Since two minutes I am cocksure that at least the vast majority of huMAN beings are designed, but this does not necessarily mean the designer and - as we do know from know on - his wife would design their creatures just as intelligent."
"But, ..."
"Doubting Sean, read this!" and he turned the book he had been reading so that I could read the line his erect middlefinger pointed at:

Schopenhauer - Genitals: the sounding-board of brain.