Monday, July 30, 2007
Cave Cihan, Mr. Erdoğan!
Forget about what I have been posting yesterday.
Of course, Tayyip Erdoğan is the winner of election in Turkey.
Congratulations, Mr. Erdoğan.
I, me and myself do not have any doubt of your integrity.
My closest friend, though - a writer who would not write for reasons I shall probably never understand - just murmured: "He should not forget forget the mission of July 30th, 2003."
"Well", I said when watching the first photo he showed me from his REUTERS-archive, "not everybody on this planet is a horseman."
"For sure", Tetrapilotomos smiled, "and the photos , OF COURSE, would not have been published in Zaman."
"But why?" I asked. "It's not a shame to get in trouble with a horse."
"Hm, Turkish journalists know pretty well to use the scissors in their mind (brain)."
"Actually, Tetrapilotomos, I think some Turkish journalists are very brave. Much more brave, indeed, than I'd be."
"Well, Sean, it's not because of the horse alone. It's because of the horse's name."
"C'mon, Tetrapilotomos, what was or is the horse's name?!"
"Indeed, it does. But would you like to be unhorsed by the 'World'?"
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Congratulations, Mr. Baykal!
No doubt that Turkey's next Prime Minister and President (the rest of the world just would not know the real facts, yet) would dispense lenity to horrific ignorants like Yusuf Kanli, although such smocks not being able to read the auspices, would surely deserve to enjoy (at least) the next legislative period on water and bread old as the hills.
Isn't Wikepedia wrong and doesn't Article 301 in fact read: "A person who publicly denigrates Deniz the Magnificent, shall be punishable by imprisonment of between 48 months and four years"?
No doubt either Mr. Baykal could say: "It's not correct that Deniz Baykal is the greatest politician ever born on Turkish soil. True is however that there has never been a greater politician."
* Don't believe what you will read at Wikepedia. Here you get the real historical fact:
Monday, July 23, 2007
In dubio pro Bekdil AND Akyol
The Flann O'Brien Prize Winner is ...
- Yes, Tetrapilotomos?
- Who do you think deserves the prize?
- Actually, I could not decide. Both, Mr. Akyol and Mr. Bekdil deserve it.
- I fear, Mr. Akyol would not appreciate to share the prize.
- Why shouldn't he?
- He is missionary, while deep in Mr. Bekdil's heart the serpent "Sarcasm" is darting. Mr. Akyol seriously believes in what he is writing, while Mr. Bekdil does not take himself too serious.
- Hm, Flann O'Brien is not missionary at all. Would you say, Mr. Akyol is not as amusing as Mr. Bekdil?
- I said Mr. Akyol would not be amused to share any prize.
- So, let's wait with the decision, until Mr. Bekdil offers his reply to Mr. Akyol's reply to his, Mr. Bekdil's, reply.
- There won't be a reply to Mr. Akyol's reply to Mr. Bekdil's reply.
- Mr. Bekdil knows very well that Mr. Akyol would let nobody have the last say, the more when this "Nobody" is an agnostic.
- But there were none of his 2.185 words indecent. And, missionary?! He seemed even glad and proud being able to tell that "the Diyanet, the offical religious body, announced last year that it would cleanse the hadith tradition (the reported sayings and deeds of the prophet) from remarks that humiliate women".
- In other words, Mr. Akyol accepts without protest that the reported sayings and deeds of the prophet would be censored. This is either blasphemy or ...
- Hold on, Tetrapilotomos! The prophet reportedly said this and did that. And you know as well as God and his wife would know that some reporters' skills are ... are ... let's call it suboptimal.
- Well, anyway, I should never write this, but I do hope there would no peaceloving colleague of the late Ayatollah Lankarani come to know of this passage in Mr. Akyol's masterpiece. I mean, it would be blasphemy to think that the prophet did not instruct all good men to beat up their wives whenever they feel like, wouldn't it?
- Hm, what did the friendly looking old man say the other year when there was a two weeks or so campaign for not beating up one's wife in Turkish media: A man who does not beat his wife, is not a man.
- There you are, this humble man surely had studied and internalised the sura important for his character building. And now, suddenly and out of the blue should be wrong what has been right for the past 1387 years?! But we are slightly extravagating. Now, who deserves the prize?
- Be it: Burak Bekdil.
- Why? Because he wrote just one article containing 1.741 words, while Mr. Akyol cast 2.185 pearls for swine?
- No. Because Mr. Bekdil is a true humourist.
- Wrong. Mustafa Akyol is much funnier. And he is an intelligently designed primate.
- He did not explicitly say so. Besides, according to my daughter, who is presently writing her master thesis about Dandyism in the English and French literature of the late 19th century Mr. Akyol might be a fine specimen for Dandyism; by seemingly promoting the idea that there is or has been a potter who's first name is/has not been Harry who about 10.000 years ago took a clot of loam, designed a being, shortly afterwards took a rib of this being and formed him a female so that he would always have something to beat up, Mr. Akyol wins lots of plaudit and praise, while in fact by doing so he is covering his world weariness by making fun of all these poor stupid idiots in the classical sense.
- Mr. Akyol may have some dandyesk attitudes, but I do seriously think he believes what he is writing about intelligent design.
- Couldn't it be that he anticipates the change of wind and that soon there will be enforced intellgently designed biology curricula, and therefore is trimming his sails?
- Is there anything Mr. Yesbut would not anticipate? By the way, nobody, I repeat, nobody could yet thoroughly explain the difference between opportunism and pragmatism.
- Mr. Yesbut?
- Well, you would often if not mostly find Mr. Akyol initially praise any Mr. Siyahyol's opinion with oriental amplification, and after the comma there would follow a but.
-Who is Mr. Siyahyol, Tetrapilotomos?
- Everybody who is not Mr. Akyol.
- Akyol means White Path. And therefore all those not of Mr. Whitepath's opinion are walking on the black path.
- Doesn't siyah colloquially also mean the same as afyon?
- I don't like dilettantes secretly consulting dictionaries. Neither I know if Mr. Akyol ever got stoned by opium. Actually I think he’d prefer cannabis, but, of course, would probably not inhalate.
- Do you know Mr. Akyol?
- Only by his writing.
- And you think you are fair with what you are talking here?
- Unlike Mr. Akyol I know that I could err.
- Ah, Tetrapilotomos, before we are getting from Pontius to Pilade, let’s make a compromise.
- All right. So, let's award Burak Bekdil the Flann O’Brien Prize, and Mr. Akyol the Huysman & Wilde Prize.
Hurra, we got it!
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Turkey in a Nutshell
For those not familiar to Turkish politics, and those who are and therefore would not know how to put into a nutshell what Turkish politics is about, I recommend reading the following masterpieces by Mustafa Akyol and Burak Bekdil in chronological order:
Akyol's artwork published July 12th, Bekdil's reply (July 18th), and Akyol's "sequel" (July 21st).
And - as it's election day - in my next post I shall let you know who my closest friend and I'd vote to become winner of the Flann O'Brian Prize.
Yes, I could right now, but I do not wish to get accused of manipulating my readers' opinion making. :)
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Carpe noctem. :)
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Who is dumb then?
Reading this article you will be able to understand my surprise.
My first reaction: Raising brows; corners of my mouth starting an expedition to my ear-lobes; rolling a cigarette, entering the balcony and while smoking watching a film made in the studios of my brain, finally sighing: Think of Voltaire, Sean. Don't let this post become an epos. Cut it short.
And here I am. Trying to cut it short, the more as unlike quite a few journalists on this planet I am quite convinced that many if not most readers are wise enough to form an opinion themselves.
Therefore just a few thoughts I find worth to get their own post next week.
1. What is the controverse about? It's about an educational and therefore social problem of (not only!) the Turkish society.
2. Censorship would not change anything for the better.
3. Why would such a reality (?) show become such a "success"?
4. Why would one find in an Turkish English Daily so many Americanisms?
5. Dumb or not dumb ... is not the question! ... Shall we bet the producers of this magnificent show are men?! :-)
The Peace of the Night.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
The BBC, the Queen & God and his wife
As everybody knows 218 years ago a few French stormed the Bastille because they were sick to death of their king and wanted to get what they deserved.15 years later they got an emperor.
For sure a grand reason for a national holiday.
I could go on and on to praise the French, but topicality has priority. Let’s therefore speak about the BBC, the Queen, God and his wife.
Ten million readers of the braking news I posted July 12th – whilst in Ulster Orangemen were celebrating their (sic) victory in a battle which took place 99 years and two days before the French started their (sic) Revolution, the latter of which is another term for replacing a king by an emperor – have asked, why the BBC somehow gave away the greatest story for the past 2020 or even 10.000 years, by mentioning it in a subordinate clause.
I confess I had no idea. This afternoon, though, I had just finished mowing the meadow, and relaxed by supporting the fight against terror (not my definition for smoking, but my former Chancellor’s of the Exchequer), when my closest friend entered the peaceful scenery.
And this was the dialogue designing itself intelligently.
- Sean. ... Heureka!
- What did you find out, Tetrapilotomos?
- Well, actually it is unfortunately not me who deserves the laurel wreath, but my source. And, of course, I should never write about.
- Your source?
- Absolutely honest, trustworthy and of an august lineage.
- Hear ye! And this middle of July.
- I shall ignore your attempt to mock me. To cut it short, let’s start this way: You watched Her Majesty in this so-called trailer, in which the BBC allegedly mixed end and beginning?
- Guess, why she was in such a hurry.
- They made a big fuss of it. Meanwhile everyone knows that ...
- Ha. Everybody thinks he knows. You know I am far from taking any conspiracy theory ...
- Tetrapilotomos, what is what your source found out!
- Patience, Sean, is a tree the roots of which taste bitter, but ...
- Did you ever read “With Burning Patience”?
- Skármeta’s homage to Neruda, who would not know? By the way, July 12th was Neruda’s 103rd birthday.
- Yes, yes, and Thoreau’s 190th. And July 8th everybody celebrated the 185th anniversary of Shelley’s dead, ...
- Be it, no poetry! Primitive prosa to extinguish your burning patience,
1.: Intelligent designed primate confirms he received foregiveness by God and his wife.
2.: Her Majesty immediately measuring the dimension intervenes.
HM: You must not write this. Imagine the Redeemer knocking at Vatican’s doors, saying “It’s me, Jesus!” - Benedict would order to take this deranged brother of the Lord to the loony bin.
BBC: But if we don’t write others will do. What will people say? Everybody knows we are simply the best!? But in such a ...
HM: All right gentleman. We allow you to hide the message by using ambiguous syntax.
BBC: Majesty, you are the Queen, but we do never use ambiguous syntax.
HM: Quod licet Iovi non licet bovi. And now arrange a date: Carpe diem.
And so – according to the motto “If you can’t beat them confuse them”, 3. the time-all conspiracy was set rolling.
They did not even stop from quoting the intelligent designed primate wrongly in the third but last paragraph, by now untruly and misleadingly writing my instead of his.
At this point I was completely confused and therefore asked: But why?
- Well, BBC readers would not notice the hidden sensation; at the most they would smile, shrug their shoulders and think it’s due to ambiguous syntax. Her majesty, though, knew better. And that’s why one could see her in damn a hurry in this trailer.
She was to give an audience ten minutes later - to God and his wife.
The Peace of the Night!
From Privilege to Prejudice
In case you happened to not read yesterday's post you may feel free to catch up with what you haphazardly missed.
And now for something completely different:
It's a citizen's right to criticise politicians; at least it should be. The more as many of the latter are doing their best to deserve being punished in Devil's kitchen.
It's not just a journalist's right but duty to objectively criticise politicians; at least it should be taken as a duty.
As for myself, I do not seldom get close to ecstasy once I have started to grumble or even shout unseemy words at this or that politician; not, of course, in this blog. :) Only the TV and Schrödinger (our cat) could appear as witness. And I do feel at my best when it comes to generalize!!
Therefore - you wouldn't believe I could be serious? - I know it's good and even necessary at least sometimes to have someone who offers the chance to catch one's reflexion. For this reason tonight I recommend this column by Mehmed Ali Birand.
May you ponder his thoughts.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Breaking news: God is married!
And as it has been told by definitively an intelligently designed primate of the species homo sapiens, it's undoubtedly the truth and nothing but the truth.
Before reading some little hints, though, for better understanding.
The miracle does not meet hundred per cent scientific standards, as the intelligent designed primate seems to not have been able to substantiate his great experience.
And the journalist, although one can be sure he tried hard - after all, audiatur et altera pars is a basic principle for all members of this most wonderful of all professions (not to mix principle for maxim, please) - seems to not have been able to verify the miracle claimed by the most intelligently designed primate.
Anyway, in dubeo pro intelligently designed primates, the more as ...
Ah, see for yourself. Read the lead. Very carefully. Don't miss the most thrilling news: The intelligently designed primate received forgiveness by God and his wife!
I think I ought not not keep this back. A minute ago my closest friend muttered:
"This intelligently designed primate's statement does not lack of incredibility. When there is no sin, there is nothing to forgive, would you agree?"
"Yes, but ...
"Since two minutes I am cocksure that at least the vast majority of huMAN beings are designed, but this does not necessarily mean the designer and - as we do know from know on - his wife would design their creatures just as intelligent."
"Doubting Sean, read this!" and he turned the book he had been reading so that I could read the line his erect middlefinger pointed at:
Schopenhauer - Genitals: the sounding-board of brain.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Banquo knew before
Banquo anticipated, when using the term
instruments of darkness.
The Peace of the Night!
* the term chosen may be accepted as homage to the increasing number of most intelligent primates who know Omnium has been intelligently designed ten thousand years ago.
Signs an Agnostic God "Accident"?
I did, and afterwards shrugged my shoulders: "Nothing surprising. The Turkish are living in interesting times. So what?"
Said my closest friend: "According to an increasing number of Knowalls claiming - who would be surprised? - to live in the most wonderful country on this planet, the primate called homo sapiens did not develop by evolution, but is a direct descended of a prototype intelligently designed from loamy soil, ten thousand years ago."
Noticing my brows producing a questionsmark, he went on:
"Therefore one should not dare to ask, if bathing one's nurslings a little too hot is widespread a custom in "God's own created country".
I could not help but nod. "The more as the path to hell is undoubtedly paved with frivolous questions. At most they would shrug their shoulders and praise their Lord's wondrous paths. But now, surely you will let me know to what extent your exquisitely well-shaped words deal with what you asked me to read."
"Well, taking for granted everything is relative, this applies for intelligence, too, doesn't it?"
"So, given a creator's relative intelligence, all such kinds of ruthless idiots ..."
"May I ask for a little more contentance?"
"... okay, would you feel better if I added, in the classical sense?
... mentioned in this very article could be the product of accidental design, couldn't they?"
"You mean all fathers being stoned or drunk while ..."
"Not necessarily. According to Anatol France Accident might perhaps be God's pseudonym when he does not wish to sign with his proper name."
"Would you please come to the inner roots of the kernel?"
And he did.
But who am I to tell that according to my closest friend the other night he had an apparition, and since he knows all and a little more?
All I know is he would never write "God is an agnostic" ...
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Make Water, not War!
Smilingly I shall light a candle for these humble people in the cathedral of my heart:
May their dreams come true, and General Büyükanit make water, not war!
The Peace of the Night!
Monday, July 09, 2007
"Hooded Briton" speaks out
Asking the question one should almost always ask (Cui bono?) it is no question why the book being introduced in this article would be published in Turkey first rather than in the United Kingdom and/or the U.S.A..
What about cool(ing) headscarves?
Great idea. Unfortunately a little late to cool the temper of certain politicians and thus improve the quality of the election campaign in Turkey..
Imagine: Erdoĝan, Baykal et al. addressing their audience by wearing cool(ing) headscarves . . .
Saturday, July 07, 2007
The Infidel and the Hottentots
This reminds me of a Maghrebinian woman last year complaining about being discriminated although having a French passport: "Why do they do so? We are human beings, too. We are no Hottentots."
The Peace of the Night!
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Human beings! What's inanimal?
He got up, grasped the "Satanic Verses" from one of his shelves where the book stood side by side with the Bible and the Koran.
Noticing my brows producing a questionmark, he smilingly said: "My personal little comment."
And seriously he went on: "Unlike the majority of those who are burning flags, I did read it. Not very impressive. Certainly it would not have reached such a circulation without this enormous helpful sales campaign started in Iran."
"Hm, and why do you think, Rushdie will be given the knighthood?" I asked.
"Either a most influental advisor is owner of a big factory producing flags to supply the demand in certain countries, or they want to provoke those a little who have nothing better to do than proving an old Chines saying."
"What Chinese saying?" I asked.
"Those feeling insulted by someone else, confess to their intellectual inferiority."
When reading this article in the Turkish newspaper Zaman, I started to understand my friend who that evening had also recited Heinrich Heine: Where they burn books, they will end in burning human beings.
"While we are at it, guess in what context Heine wrote this."
"1821, in Almansor. It plays at the time of Inquisition in Spain, and the sentence is referring to the burning of the Koran. - You see, peace loving Christians can be as idiotic as Muslims.
"And I do start to have an uneasy sense of why you refuse to write."
Back to this guest-article. There is not much left to comment after what my closest friend somehow seems to have anticipated.
So I shall restrict to just two remarks according a certain diction.
The writer uses the word inhuman. Would he ever call something or someone inanimal?
I thought the writer believes in his God. Thus, I was surprised to read: "I believe Muslim peer Lord Ahmed's declaration is the voice of all Muslims around the word."
I do hope the poor man will not be prosecuted for his belief.
For the rest, reading what the other day I wrote about Subverting Language will do.
And tomorrow I think (sic) I shall write a little about stupidity and megalomania .
The Peace of the Night!
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
Your turn, Lysistrata
But one decent wish should be allowed.
Waking up tomorrow, I should like to hear this breaking news:
"On behalf of and authorised by 28 million Iranian women Lysistrata delivers the very ultimatum!
The Peace of the Night.
P.S. Ah, resorting oneself either to wishful thinking and/or swearing; talking Billingsgate, railing, cursing and execrating: All this is fine from time to time, and - yes - it demonstrates, it can demonstrate solidarity; a kind of solidarity.
Unfortunately, though, it does not change anything. It does, f.e. not help these women.
And that is why sometimes I do ask myself, if what I am writing here and others there is not just a sign of helplessness, of defeatism, of ... loquacious cowardice.
As Heinrich Heine said:
Der Knecht singt gerne Freiheitslieder
des Abends in der Schenke.
The peasant loves singing rebel songs [songs of freedom]
in the pub at night.
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Still, very interesting. It is mostly interesting to read "foreign" newspapers. Widening the horizon. Especially when you are a frog living in a font.
Well ... but this is not about frog-minded people.
Neither it is about the issue, Joseph Massad is writing about.
It is about language and intelligent people. Mr. Massad seems to be intelligent. Otherwise he would not teach at Columbia University; otherwise the idea could suggest itself Mr Massad is being sponsored by the country which he is attacking such vehemently.
Why do so many people who should be able to know better when talking about whatever conflict so often tend to subvert (sic) and deceive their readers, their listeners by telling only one part of the story (not to say truth).
A contribution to solve whatever conflict is not made with such rhetoric.
Ah, to cut it short:
Seems one is getting pretty close to the essential inherent interior essence which is hidden in the root of the kernel, when hazarding to guess that - at least quite a few; and unfortunately too many - intellectuals are intelligent bipeds without brains.
The peace of the night! :)
Monday, July 02, 2007
A mess too late to fix?
All facts mentioned seem correct; even the final sentence.
Now there do exist quite a few contradictory, often amusing aphorisms either about optimism/optimists and pessimism/pessimists.
As almost always, one could take the one fitting best to one's own convictions, one's own spirit, one's own mood.
After all, such behaviour seems part of the essentiell inherent interior essence hidden in the root of the kernel of everything.
So let a humble agnostic who deeply respects any form of belief as long as the believers do tolerate his conviction admit that he fears Gwynne Dyer's final sentence could prove true, but that he would rather prefer building a temple for an ISM.
And let's call it/her/him OPTIM. :-)
How amazing: Global Unease with Major World Powers
But what is the news?
Rather seems to prove - like so often - as correct what can be found in Henry David Thoreau's "Walden" .
[...] If you are acquainted with the principle, what do you care for a myriad instances and applications? [...] A news which I seriously think a ready wit might write a twelve months or twelve years beforehand with sufficient accuracy."