Saturday, July 14, 2007

The BBC, the Queen & God and his wife

As everybody knows 218 years ago a few French stormed the Bastille because they were sick to death of their king and wanted to get what they deserved.15 years later they got an emperor.
For sure a grand reason for a national holiday.
I could go on and on to praise the French, but topicality has priority. Let’s therefore speak about the BBC, the Queen, God and his wife.
Ten million readers of the braking news I posted July 12th – whilst in Ulster Orangemen were celebrating their (sic) victory in a battle which took place 99 years and two days before the French started their (sic) Revolution, the latter of which is another term for replacing a king by an emperor – have asked, why the BBC somehow gave away the greatest story for the past 2020 or even 10.000 years, by mentioning it in a subordinate clause.
I confess I had no idea. This afternoon, though, I had just finished mowing the meadow, and relaxed by supporting the fight against terror (not my definition for smoking, but my former Chancellor’s of the Exchequer), when my closest friend entered the peaceful scenery.

And this was the dialogue designing itself intelligently.

- Sean. ... Heureka!
- What did you find out, Tetrapilotomos?
- Well, actually it is unfortunately not me who deserves the laurel wreath, but my source. And, of course, I should never write about.
- Your source?
- Absolutely honest, trustworthy and of an august lineage.
- Hear ye! And this middle of July.
- I shall ignore your attempt to mock me. To cut it short, let’s start this way: You watched Her Majesty in this so-called trailer, in which the BBC allegedly mixed end and beginning?
- Hm.
- Guess, why she was in such a hurry.
- They made a big fuss of it. Meanwhile everyone knows that ...
- Ha. Everybody thinks he knows. You know I am far from taking any conspiracy theory ...
- Tetrapilotomos, what is what your source found out!
- Patience, Sean, is a tree the roots of which taste bitter, but ...
- Did you ever read “With Burning Patience”?
- Sk├írmeta’s homage to Neruda, who would not know? By the way, July 12th was Neruda’s 103rd birthday.
- Yes, yes, and Thoreau’s 190th. And July 8th everybody celebrated the 185th anniversary of Shelley’s dead, ...
- Celebrated?
- Tetrapilotomos!
- Be it, no poetry! Primitive prosa to extinguish your burning patience,
1.: Intelligent designed primate confirms he received foregiveness by God and his wife.
2.: Her Majesty immediately measuring the dimension intervenes.

HM: You must not write this. Imagine the Redeemer knocking at Vatican’s doors, saying “It’s me, Jesus!” - Benedict would order to take this deranged brother of the Lord to the loony bin.
BBC: But if we don’t write others will do. What will people say? Everybody knows we are simply the best!? But in such a ...
HM: All right gentleman. We allow you to hide the message by using ambiguous syntax.
BBC: Majesty, you are the Queen, but we do never use ambiguous syntax.
HM: Quod licet Iovi non licet bovi. And now arrange a date: Carpe diem.
And so – according to the motto “If you can’t beat them confuse them”, 3. the time-all conspiracy was set rolling.
They did not even stop from quoting the intelligent designed primate wrongly in the third but last paragraph, by now untruly and misleadingly writing my instead of his.

At this point I was completely confused and therefore asked: But why?

- Well, BBC readers would not notice the hidden sensation; at the most they would smile, shrug their shoulders and think it’s due to ambiguous syntax. Her majesty, though, knew better. And that’s why one could see her in damn a hurry in this trailer.
She was to give an audience ten minutes later - to God and his wife.

The Peace of the Night!

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