Breaking news: God is married!

If anyone should have doubted: Here you can read the very probable most amazing and miraculous story being told for the past 2020 if not 10.000 years.
And as it has been told by definitively an intelligently designed primate of the species homo sapiens, it's undoubtedly the truth and nothing but the truth.
Before reading some little hints, though, for better understanding.
The miracle does not meet hundred per cent scientific standards, as the intelligent designed primate seems to not have been able to substantiate his great experience.
And the journalist, although one can be sure he tried hard - after all, audiatur et altera pars is a basic principle for all members of this most wonderful of all professions (not to mix principle for maxim, please) - seems to not have been able to verify the miracle claimed by the most intelligently designed primate.
Anyway, in dubeo pro intelligently designed primates, the more as ...

Ah, see for yourself. Read the lead. Very carefully. Don't miss the most thrilling news: The intelligently designed primate received forgiveness by God and his wife!

Postskriptum:
I think I ought not not keep this back. A minute ago my closest friend muttered:
"This intelligently designed primate's statement does not lack of incredibility. When there is no sin, there is nothing to forgive, would you agree?"
"Yes, but ...
"Since two minutes I am cocksure that at least the vast majority of huMAN beings are designed, but this does not necessarily mean the designer and - as we do know from know on - his wife would design their creatures just as intelligent."
"But, ..."
"Doubting Sean, read this!" and he turned the book he had been reading so that I could read the line his erect middlefinger pointed at:

Schopenhauer - Genitals: the sounding-board of brain.