Wanted! Good answers to good questions

No, there does not exist any contract or gentleman's agreement between Mr. Bekdil and me.

No, I am not sure Mr. Bekdil is in possession of the best solutions to everything and all.

Yes, I do appreciate the questions he is asking.

Yes, I should like to read somebody's answers to these questions.

No, not Mr. Akyol's answers. (They would - with respect - be of no relevance.)

But what's about both Mr. Akyol's and (sic) Mr. Bekdil's president and prime minister?

Your turn, Mr. Gül! Your turn, Mr. Erdoğan!

Yes?

Mr. Akyol 0 - Mr Bekdil 2

The inevitable happened.
As announced rather than prognosticated three days ago today the first Flann O'Brien Prize Winner, TDN's master equilibrist Burak Bekdil put his pen to paper (ah, what a picture in these times!) , in order to reply to Mr. Akyol's reply on his, Mr Bekdil's, innocent article.

Easy to cut it short, especially as my closest friend Tetrapilotomos is just reflecting about singularity: Again, Mr Bekdil won what TDN's chief editor David Judson would call a "sparring-match".

Game, set and match to Mr. Bekdil.

Reading his reply you will know - all right: at least be able to imagine, why.


Mr Akyol 0 - Mr Bekdil 2.


Postscriptum for all supporters of Mr Akyol: A first Huysman-Wilde-Prize-Winner would not throw in the turban (turban, no headscarf!) ... eh ... hm ... towel, of course.

Good night, Turkey, and good luck! III

There may be trouble ahead
But while there is moonlight, and music, and love, and romance
Let's face the music and dance.
Irving Berlin, 1936

He who laughs has not yet heard the bad news.
Bertold Brecht

Ah, if I were to live in Turkey, for sure I could not (easily) sleep tonight.

Therefore, for those visiting me a little more to read, maybe to think about and to reflect, perhaps even to laugh here and there.
Yes, those who have come to know me and my dearest friend - a writer who would not write for reasons I shall probably never understand -, a little better, and whose visits I do appreciate very much, will know that we do rather prefer to look on the bright side of life. And life is bright when we can celebrate our sense for humour, irony and well ... some sarcasm here and there.
Really happy Tetrapilotomos and I however are, when we can lean back.

Today could have become such a day. Burak Bekdil, this year's first Flann O'Brian Prize Winner, and Huysman-Wilde-Prize Winner Mustafa Akyol started a new competition.
The little difference: This time Mr. Bekdil started, Mr. Akyol replied; and, for sure, this time it will be Mr. Bekdil who will give a reply to this reply (if the circumstances will allow).

Allright, ladies and gentlemen, enjoy yourselves first here, then here.


* For those readers who unfortunately happened to miss the first competition it is highly recommended not to miss reading this and this.

Good night, Turkey, and good luck! II

Those self-important fathers of their country
Think they're above the people.
(Euripides, c. 426 B.C.E.)

Hm, I do admit that I was very very close to withold what immediately follows, as I am not sure about its level of wisdom.
But why should a wise man be not wrong at the end?

Here we go, then:

. . . Why they're nothing!
The citizen is infinitely wiser.


Hm, being honest has produced a tiny dilemma: How to get the act together?

You see, the first two lines were thought as a lovely entry for this joke.
For a joke that tells what this blog's name promises: Omnium.
It tells all, about what can easily happen to everybody, if young or old, if white or black, if dark- or blue-eyed, if so-called Kemalists, secularists or Islamists, if followers of this Ism or that ideology, and whatever she or he may believe in, or not.

Having said this, I invite you to read:

With a little money in their pockets, they [two blacks] are walking down the street and run into a shop with a sign hanging on its window, that reads, “We make blacks white, guaranteed. Only $100.” However, one has $110 and the other $90. They make a deal: The owner of the bigger amount will go first and test it out; if he really turns white, he will give the remaining $10 to his friend so he can do the same. The first black man goes into the shop and leaves it after a very short time as a completely white person. His friend waiting outside is flabbergasted and immediately asks for the $10. But the answer he gets is like a slap on the cheek: “Go away, you dirty negro!”


With thanks to M. Nedin Hazar who "told" this joke, which is rather a dark parable getting close to the essential inheritent interior essence which is hidden in the root of the kernel of everything.
Read his complete article here.

Good night, Turkey, and good luck!

The good news first. According to Erkan, Turkish bloggers are not longer banned from accessing to wordpress.

The . . . other (flash-) news:
MILITARY SAYS SECULARISM UNDER ATTACK BY “CENTERS OF EVIL” --The staunchly secular Turkish military said Monday that secularism is under attack by “centers of evil” in a strong warning one day ahead of the expected election to the presidency of a candidate with a background in political Islam. Gen. Yaşar Büyükanıt, chief of the military, said in a note on the military Web site that “our nation has been watching the behavior of those separatists who cannot embrace unitary nature of Turkey and (behavior of) centers of evil who systematically try to corrode the secular nature of the Turkish Republic.”
[source: Turkish Daily News]

It seems, while Greece is burning (has been set on fire?), the Turkish people are sitting on a powder-keg . . . and . . . somebody else is sitting at the other end of the fuse.

Good night, everybody in Turkey. And good luck!

Does article 301 apply for Erdoğan ?

In an article published by Hürriyet, Bekir Coşkun essentially proclaimed that he would not recognize Abdullah Gül his president.

Obviously filled with deep indignation, in a "direct" response - via TV - (future Ex-) Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdoğan (RTE) said: "If he is not your president, then renounce your citizenship of this country."

As one of the politest blogger on this planet one might only say: Sic tacuisses . . .

However, can anybody imagine RTE being a philosopher?

Rather there will be a prosecutor putting his eminent magnificence on trial under article 301 for insulting the Turkishness of 53,41 per cent of all Turkish voters who did not vote for his (sic!) party.

Impossible? Cave Cihan, would-be padişah! Not in Turkey.

Thus, let's wait and . . . meanwhile read comments penned by two most respectable Turkish columnists: Yusuf Kanli and Murat Yetkin.

Turkey: wordpress-blogs banned

Aber man wird nicht sagen:
Die Zeiten waren finster
Sondern: Warum haben ihre Dichter geschwiegen?
(Bertolt Brecht)

However one will not say:
Those times were dark
But: Why did their poets keep quiet?


Replacing poets by bloggers, it's easy to know what to do after having read the following:

Turkish bloggers are being banned from access to wordpress.com!

There does not exist any official statement, yet, nor did Turkish
newspapers like TDN and Today's Zaman mention the fact.

For the beginning, a little more information here and here and here.

Not only Bush's brain is missing

When reading this, please keep in mind that Karl Rove has not yet retired!

So, what else could get lost, when goes missing what used to be called Bush's brain?

Brainy Headline

Depending you are visiting Adelaide Green Porridge Cafe you will soon find out that a prosaic headline (in the "Independent") can be as enjoyable as poetry.

Go on then, and read the whole article . . . if you can . . .

Noble invitations by Erdoğan and Gökçek

Piece four:

You read the notorious Mr. Kanli’s masterpiece of self pity as recommended in Piece three?

Well, according to my closest friend’s absolutely honest and trustworthy source who had been invited to take a shower in Mr. Erdoğan’s humble home, despite “being disgusted by being quoted out of the context”, Turkey’s future Ex-Prime Minister would not insist on prosecuting Mr. Kanli.

”But, of course, the Turkish justice is independent. Therefore, I can not anticipate any prosecutor's reaction when coming to know all those fiercely insults against the padişah – er – the Prime Minister.”

And here is what Mr. Kanli withhold his readers:

The nice, pretty, cute Mr. Gökçek according to my closest friend’s source assured while they (Mr. Gökçek, Mr. Mr. Erdoğan and Tetrapilotomos’ source) had a tea – prepared, by the way, with impeccable clean water - in the future Ex-mayor’s humble home: “I did never ever say people should leave Ankara for a holiday. I invited them to enjoy holiday in my home.”

And thus the trialogue went on:

The future Ex-Prime Minister: “That’s what our cute mayor said.”

Question: But the water shortage? Imagine only 500.000 people taking a shower in your convivial home?

The cute Mr. Gökçek: “Well, no problem.”

The future Ex-Prime Minister: “Indeed. As said, we have no water problem in our house. We have a water tanker. The people – and it makes me really sad that Mr. Kanli would not mention this in his column – are invited to have their showers in my humble home. I do only ask everybody to turn water off, while lathering and while brushing the teeth.”

Despite of this really wonderful report about an altruistic future Ex-Prime Minister and a future Ex-mayor, our source ends with a thought provoking postscriptum:

What will happen when all citizens come to know of these generous invitations? Will there come the moment when the padişah – ehem – the future Ex-Prime Minister will be quoted by the notorious Mr. Kanli saying: “Now the people have been absolutely exaggerating. My water tanker's empty.”?

Considerably exaggerated

Piece three:

We have no water problem in our house. We have a water tanker. I think the water problem is considerably exaggerated, says Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdoğan

These are the key-sentences, TDN-editor Yussuf Kanli chose for his Monday-column, in which he complains about a short period of three days he has been short of water.

But read and judge yourself.

Baykal takes Brecht's advice

Recently Mr. Baykal has already been congratulated on his and his (sic!) Party's tremendous election triumph. But one can not often enough repeat it.

According to our absolutely honest and trustworthy source, for approximately 80 per cent of the Turkish people Deniz the Magnificent is the outstanding thinker and theoretican who has fully mastered Atatürk's revolutionary ideas; he is the sagacious leader of his Party and people who is possessed of brilliant wisdom, unusual insight and refined art of leadership; and he is the real leader of the people who has unboundedly lofty virtues.

TDN's Yusuf Kanli seems not able to accept Mr. Baykal's victory. Mr. Kanli is even mocking about Deniz the Magnificent.

But we know better.
Mr. Baykal and his (sic!) CHP won.
Not enough to drive Mr. Erdogan to Kars, where he could work as extra at the revolutionary local theatre, when it is next time snowing.

But - and nobody could deny: Only about 30 per cent more, and Mr. Baykal and his (sic!) Party would even have won the absolute majority.

Now, why did / COULD this not happen?
Officially one could hear all those arguments Mr. Kanli is mocking about.
One should not blame him, though. He does not know better. He CAN not know better.

Fortunately we can and DO.

According to my closest friend's either omnipresent and absolutely honest and trustworthy source, who's deep throat knows the büyükbaba - not to muddle up with Büyükanit - thus again: who knows the grandfather whose cousin's grandson's aunt knows the sister of a very very influential editor of Cumhurriyet, Deniz the Magnificent has told this extraordinary influential beacon of independant and unbribable Turkish journalism - sub rosa and off the records - the ultimate reason why him and his (sic!) Party would not get - at least - 98,9 per cent of the votes: "The stupid people did not vote for us. But at the next election WE shall turn the table. WE elect a new people."

The very very influential editor has not been seen, since. Influenza, it says.

It's as simple as that

Another nice little gem has been flowing into the feather of the champion first ever winning the Flann O'Brien Price.
It's somehow a pars pro toto for the daily secrets being published.

Ah, and - perhaps - it is about the time you are to be introduced to one of my closest friend's "ceterum censeos":

Banquo knew before

And oftentimes, to win us to our harm,
The instruments of darkness tell us truths,
Win us with honest trifles, to betray’s
In deepest consequence.

In German it sounds even more impressive (and not only because "Death is a master from Germany")

Oft, uns in Elend zu verlocken
Erzählen Wahrheit uns des Dunkels Schergen,
Gewinnen uns durch ehrlich Spiel im Kleinen,
Um uns in größten Dingen zu verraten.

Shakespeare, McBeth 1.,3

Victim of Loneliness

Here you will find a nice tiny story about a poor poor Italian Member of Parliament (MP) who according to his own words would just not have known what to do with all this snow-white loneliness.
Some ignorant people might not really understand that "loneliness is a very serious thing, and the life of a MP can be a very hard life."
My closest friend immediately took a plane to Rome.
- After all, Signor Mele lives closer to God and his wife than the intelligently designed Republican primate who recently received forgiveness from God and his wife. My old friend Ratze will give this victim of loneliness a private audience and afterwards Signor Mele's reputation will be as immaculate as . . .
- Tetrapilotomos!!!!
. . . hm, . . . as snow from the Aetna. . . . You are worse than the worst chaperone.

Cave Cihan, Mr. Erdoğan!

Forget about what I have been posting yesterday.
Of course, Tayyip Erdoğan is the winner of election in Turkey.

Congratulations, Mr. Erdoğan.

I, me and myself do not have any doubt of your integrity.
My closest friend, though - a writer who would not write for reasons I shall probably never understand - just murmured: "He should not forget forget the mission of July 30th, 2003."

"Well", I said when watching the first photo he showed me from his REUTERS-archive, "not everybody on this planet is a horseman."

"For sure", Tetrapilotomos smiled, "and the photos , OF COURSE, would not have been published in Zaman."
"But why?" I asked. "It's not a shame to get in trouble with a horse."

"Hm, Turkish journalists know pretty well to use the scissors in their mind (brain)."

"Actually, Tetrapilotomos, I think some Turkish journalists are very brave. Much more brave, indeed, than I'd be."

"Well, Sean, it's not because of the horse alone. It's because of the horse's name."

"C'mon, Tetrapilotomos, what was or is the horse's name?!"

"Cihan."

"Sounds nice."

"Indeed, it does. But would you like to be unhorsed by the 'World'?"

Turkey in a Nutshell

These are interesting times for the Turkish people. And, no doubt, the times will get not less interesting after today's election.

For those not familiar to Turkish politics, and those who are and therefore would not know how to put into a nutshell what Turkish politics is about, I recommend reading the following masterpieces by Mustafa Akyol and Burak Bekdil in chronological order:
Akyol's artwork published July 12th, Bekdil's reply (July 18th), and Akyol's "sequel" (July 21st).

And - as it's election day - in my next post I shall let you know who my closest friend and I'd vote to become winner of the Flann O'Brian Prize.
Yes, I could right now, but I do not wish to get accused of manipulating my readers' opinion making. :)

Make Water, not War!

When reading this my heart rose like a falcon up to the sky!

Smilingly I shall light a candle for these humble people in the cathedral of my heart:
May their dreams come true, and General Büyükanit make water, not war!

The Peace of the Night!

What about cool(ing) headscarves?

Turkish scientists develop cooling textiles.

Great idea. Unfortunately a little late to cool the temper of certain politicians and thus improve the quality of the election campaign in Turkey..

Imagine: Erdoĝan, Baykal et al. addressing their audience by wearing cool(ing) headscarves . . .

Subverting language

"Subverting democracy". Attracting headline. What democracy? Democracy à la Egypt? Hm. Probably not. Not in Al Ahram.
And indeed.
Still, very interesting. It is mostly interesting to read "foreign" newspapers. Widening the horizon. Especially when you are a frog living in a font.

Well ... but this is not about frog-minded people.
Neither it is about the issue, Joseph Massad is writing about.

It is about language and intelligent people. Mr. Massad seems to be intelligent. Otherwise he would not teach at Columbia University; otherwise the idea could suggest itself Mr Massad is being sponsored by the country which he is attacking such vehemently.

Why do so many people who should be able to know better when talking about whatever conflict so often tend to subvert (sic) and deceive their readers, their listeners by telling only one part of the story (not to say truth).
A contribution to solve whatever conflict is not made with such rhetoric.

Ah, to cut it short:
Seems one is getting pretty close to the essential inherent interior essence which is hidden in the root of the kernel, when hazarding to guess that - at least quite a few; and unfortunately too many - intellectuals are intelligent bipeds without brains.

The peace of the night! :)

A mess too late to fix?

There is another article in today's Turkish Daily News (TDN), which is interesting to read.

All facts mentioned seem correct; even the final sentence.

Now there do exist quite a few contradictory, often amusing aphorisms either about optimism/optimists and pessimism/pessimists.
As almost always, one could take the one fitting best to one's own convictions, one's own spirit, one's own mood.

After all, such behaviour seems part of the essentiell inherent interior essence hidden in the root of the kernel of everything.

So let a humble agnostic who deeply respects any form of belief as long as the believers do tolerate his conviction admit that he fears Gwynne Dyer's final sentence could prove true, but that he would rather prefer building a temple for an ISM.

And let's call it/her/him OPTIM. :-)