Today it's to be read on the frontpage of an English newspaper that Merkel wants Britain to crawl across broken glass.
Cited is an unspecified source as saying that the German chancellor was determined to see Britain suffer rather than reach a compromise on the sticking points of future government aid and fishing.
And who would not immediately and wholeheartedly believe?! After all it is coming from excellently educated journalists whose living is clean, whose manners are impeccable and who would never lie.
The more surprised I got, when my always trustworthy and absolutely reliable source let me know that she had heard by someone who knows the cousin of the doctor who had once got the opportunity to look in said journalist's brain, that instead of grey matter the one who had written the above has brown matter in his head.
Before I could ask for more details my always best-informed source went on:
"There is no need to worry for the average English(wo)man who does not only want her respectively his money but also her respectively his sovereignty back.
Alternative fact is that each week 350 million quid will be pumped into the NHS, farmers will become rich, and the blessed English sovereigns will not be able to eat all the fish brave English fisherman will bring back from sea, escorted and protected against all the evil fishermen from abroad."
I hardly could believe my ears.
Finally my extraordinary credible source quoted Heinrich Heine on his 223rd birthday:
"I have never seen an ass who wrote like a human being, but I have met many human beings who wrote like asses."
P.S. On request of A.Brit, readers may in their grey (sic!) matter replace England and English with GREAT Britain and British, because, of course, the people in Northern Ireland, in Scotland and Wales are blessed GREAT British sovereigns, too, and thus also will enjoy all the most wonderful fruits of what is their majority's will.
Your friend needs to be told that the UK is not England, it is England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland combined.
ReplyDeleteMy source who, by the way, is not my friend – one ought not to meddle friendship and business – does know this, is not sure, though, whether the greatest of all English prime ministers ever knows.
DeleteRe your PS, actually, perhaps pedantically, the people of Northern Ireland are not technically "blessed British". The definition of the United Kingdom is "the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland"; thus NI is not part of Great Britain (much to the disappointment of some there and resentful insistence of others). It is complicated. And if France wants our fish they can fuck off, eh? Or come to the fish and chip shop in Whitby, where I ate well this very evening, oddly, in the murky shadow of the gothic abbey.
DeleteOh, and Brexit was not the majority's will, merely the will of the majority of those who bothered to vote. There is a significant difference, perhaps unfortunately. And there never has been an "English prime minister", although the greatest of UK Prime Ministers, thus far, is dead.
DeleteWell, right. I hear that there are people in Scotland and Wales, too, who are not happy to be technically blessed British.
DeleteAs for French and all other Europeans: Right so! That's exactly what my source said.
"The blessed English (id est British/Omnium)) sovereigns will not be able to eat all the fish brave English (id est British/Omnium) fisherman will bring back from sea, escorted and protected against all the evil fishermen from abroad."
If the blessed British people can't eat all the fish their brave fishermen bring back from sea, escorted and protected by the GREATEST navy ever against all the evil fishermen from abroad themselves, they can sell the rest to the great U.S.A. Would be one of those big deals, which will make Britain great again. Ruling a few waves.
As for the 'significant difference' you mention. Be sure the majority of voters for "Get the Brexit done" does not care a fart for any fictive majority who did not bother about voting. Shit happens as my always polite source would never say.
DeleteThe Daily Mail in particular and the Sunday Mail by association are scurrilous rags that do not report news. They report propaganda in the case of the former, conspiracy theories.
ReplyDeletehttps://mediabiasfactcheck.com/daily-mail/
Trying to understand the issue that is blocking a communal understanding as we are due to leave the EU - I have read (from reflective sources) that it is the French that are trying to block an amicable deal as the UK leave. This fits with English and French relations over history.
DeleteAch, it's always the other side's fault, isn't it?
DeleteAnyway, my best-informed source is sure, your most honourable Prime Minister and the most marvellous clique around him will lead the United Kingdom into a magnificent future.
Going back to media publications, they feed public paranoia (as do many political bloggers) for their own financial or personal gain.
ReplyDeletePeople are lazy and don't do their own research to understand what is happening now let alone what happened in the past.
After my rant I wish you the Peace of the Night :-)
Your rant was refreshing.
DeleteThe topic is not.
My father OFTEN said (with his tongue firmly in his cheek)'It MUST be true - it was in the papers'.
ReplyDeleteThere are some journalists (print, radio, television) who if I find myself agreeing with them I immediately go back to first principles to see where I got it wrong.
Educated readers would help getting rid of tabloids.
DeleteHm, or not.
I read a weekly publication that aggregates the key issues of the previous week. Trying to present the news in an unbiased way.
DeleteIt has a column entitled 'It MUST BE TRUE... I Read in the tabloids'.
Yes, those publications mostly are helpful.
DeleteAs my life will not last eternally and there are so many books I want to read before moving to my last dwelling six feet under, and there are so many thoughts and stories in my head waiting to be written, after being a newsman for several decades some weeks ago I decided beginning from February 2nd to sacrifice but 15 minutes daily for what is called 'news'.
May I succeed. ;-)
Over here it's called Fake News and it is ubiquitous. And so My limit is about three minutes on alternate Tuesdays.
ReplyDeleteThree minutes on alternate Tuesdays?! Now, that would please Thoreau.
Delete